You survive, you still wonder how. So many people you know did not survive. You saved your house, so many others couldn’t.
You are embarrassed, you are ashamed.
You are suffering survivors guilt.
You avoid the main roads, you avoid public meetings. You avoid the life that you once knew.
It is all too hard. You want to know why you have been saved and so many have not.
You have passed your years, you have done your time. Why were the children taken so early, they had not lived their life, they had not seen life.
It is not fair.
You help where you can, but wonder if your help is not wanted, due to the fact you have lost nothing and they have lost all.
What do you do? What can you do? Will the place you have known for 40 years ever be the same again?
Will you ever be able to shop in your home town again?
Will you ever be able to buy petrol in your home town again?
Will those that left to find a roof ever come back again?
There are so many questions and so few answers.
Nobody is prepared to give answers, nobody is prepared to step up and be accountable.
Can you survive the guilt?