From here things get not so much hazy – but not dated – just ramblings. I was so tired – I was having nightmares, couldn’t sleep, many people calling me from all over the world – wanting to make sure that I was okay, that my parents were okay – crazy, crazy times.
I was having nightmares about a tap in town – right near the retirement village, that would only work with a ‘key’ (like a council key) it wasn’t working when we first drove past it, after we had solved the water problems it was working and we had to stop and turn it off. This tap took on the size of Goliath and was my personal nightmare.
In the middle of all of this – I was approached to help with handing out cash for some people that I know online – they’d pay the money to me and I had to find a way to give to the most deserving. After thinking about it for a couple of days, I found the perfect solution. I stood at the local service station in Whittlesea and hand out $50.00 to any person who was wearing a wrist band and trying to pay for petrol. The people with wrist bands lived in the fire affected areas of Kinglake, Flowerdale and Humevale. For 3 nights I stood next to the cashier and paid the amount of $50.00 to the cashier for each person who was wearing a wrist band. These people are those that are trying to get going after being hit in the guts and making an effort. They deserved all the help they could get. I gave out something like $2000.00 over that period.
Eventually, the demons caught up with me, it must have been about a month later, I went and tried to see someone, but because I hadn’t lost property and because I wasn’t ‘directly’ affected, no-one had time for me. The usual stuff – I’m one of the one’s that ‘slipped through the cracks’ even today I’ve not spoken to anyone. Simply because I can’t talk to my parents, My family can’t be burdened with the stuff, we all have problems. There is no-one to turn to.
What I’m finding the hardest is that people I relate my story to – don’t believe it. In my own sort of therapy way I have shared the above story with a few people and only 1 or 2 actually believe it and respond. The rest just ignore it, as though it couldn’t, didn’t, wouldn’t happen. Sorry to tell you – but every word you read here is the truth. With God as my witness.